Ezering Along

I have recently started a new job in the sunny land of ENG, a.k.a, England.

Who’d have thought?

I’m not gonna lie, leaving France felt (cue exaggeration) like losing a limb. I can’t remember a time when I have cried so much over something. It was experiencing lack of direction, indecision, confusion and loss all at the same time.

Well, apparently, the old me already had a feeling that I would end up in England, because if you recall my previous posts, you’ll see I’ve written (joked ^^) about returning to the UK and working in my mum’s local Tesco.

Funnily enough, I’m not working in my mum’s local Tesco – yet again I’m working in a school. This time though, I’m no longer the teacher, but the teaching assistant.

Thank goodness.

I’m enjoying my more-or-less free evenings; last year’s constant lesson preparation and activity research but a distant memory…

How delightful it is to wake every morning. To wake early, with purpose. To have somewhere to be, people to interact with, and a LOT to learn. (Being unemployed was just a bit of a drag…)

This is what I love about the education environment: It feels a challenge. It IS a challenge, rather. Yet this challenge means that every day is a privilege, as every day, little old me gets to learn. I get to learn pearls of wisdom from other newbies or experienced professionals, from the children, or more often than not, from my own mistakes. And mistakes, my friends,  are proof that you are trying.

I’ve read the book Captivating recently. In the book, Stasi Eldridge explains how as women we are created to be helpers. When God made Adam, it wasn’t enough; Adam needed Eve! Eve is Adam’s helper, she is his “ezer”. Not only is “ezer” used in the context of Adam and Eve, ezer is used in the Bible many times, meaning to help (helper), or to support.  And as a Teaching Assistant, I am convinced that God is teaching me about having more of His servant-heart. A heart created for helping others, a heart which is ready to help others, and rejoicing in the work.

Don’t get me wrong – rejoicing in the work is easier said than done a lot of the time. The first few weeks of my new job were (and still have recently been) quite up and down, and I still do, and will of course, experience down days.

What has been an encouragement to me though, are verses which I have recently (re)discovered thanks to one of Alyssa Joy Bethke’s blog post, Psalm 84:11-12:

For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.

O Lord of hosts, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes, I feel as though I almost grasp something new, and then, unexpectedly, this exciting spark of something new, slips through my fingers. Whether it be a new experience, a different job opportunity, a new friendship, a new love-interest(ha!), a new hobby, or anything else, there are times when I feel like I’m missing out on what I’ve never had. Or almost had.

Then, there are the times when I dwell too much on missing what I once had.

So rather than seeing me feel all sorry for myself, I’m pretty glad that God chose to speak to me through Psalm 84, reminding me that He will “withhold no good thing” from those who continually seek Him. Psalm 84:11 confirms to me that right here, right now is where God wants me to be, and that right here, right now, is nothing less than His best for me. How cool is that!? And although sometimes I’m full of doubt, waking every morning with this encouraging truth does nothing less than lift my spirits, helping me to rejoice in the new day and in this current season of life.

So right now, let’s trust in His ways, and not miss out on our Father’s best for us. Remember His words (Isaiah 55:8):

 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways

and be blessed!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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On The Other Side

On the megabus travelling from Cardiff to London today, I had time to write a few words of reflection. Here they are.

The weather is a little horrific. Grey skies. Raindrops running down the glass windows of this megabus coach. Rain. Wind. Wet roads. Big puddles. Welcome to the UK. In November. Or rather, in my case, it’s see ya later alligator. I’ll be back in just under 2 months.

I’ve had a really lovely 10 days away from Franceland. One hard thing was not seeing everyone who is so special to me. But in Cardiff especially, there are many who are so special to me, and in just a few days I didn’t have time to see all of those whom I store loyally in my heart.

In any case, I spent a few lovely days with my dad, little brother and sister, as well as a night with my nan where I caught up with 2 sets of aunties and uncles too. Not forgetting my 5 days spent in Beds with my mum and sister, including a pleasant girly weekend with an aunty from North Wales.

Going back to France now, I don’t really know how to feel.

Firstly I hope I catch my eurostar in time. Still on my way to Llundain and it’s past 10am. My eurostar leaves at 12:58…it’s OK, we’re due into Victoria Coach Station for 10:30am. Praying!

So as I was saying, not really sure how to feel re.commencing Chapter 2 of my Lille life. Like a kid, I look forward to travelling on the eurostar again and get excited when I hear people chatting away in French.

Re.work though, I’m feeling a little more anxious about the whole thing. I’ve even had a nosy on job sites to see a bit what’s out there – if I don’t survive past January.

I would love to stay in Lille for the whole year as planned. I’m just not sure I can hack teaching for the whole time. Perhaps throwing myself in the deep end wasn’t such a good idea.

Anyway; amidst my many blessings I am in a certain way unafraid. I have many security blankets – them being my friends, family, in Wales, UK and even in France.

One little nugget of information for you: over my time away, I met a Christian. Apparently only a Christian for the past 2/3 years, he admitted to me something about God –  ‘I live because of Him, and I live for Him’. He said this to me, unafraid and self-assured. It was touching!

Challenges will arise in this life, wherever I am, wherever we are.  And God is there in every one. He knows about every one. It’s our attitude which we must adapt.

Although things may be grey. Rainy. Albeit, horrific. God sees the bigger picture. We will have trials on this earth – but remember- this earth isn’t our home! Our eternal home and treasures are with God in Heaven – there is another side.

She is fierce