Just Call Me Scatty

So…it’s been a while. Longer than I’ve wanted. I’ve had so many moments where I’ve longed to just forget everything I have on my mind and to just write. It’s kinda like escapism. But it’s like dancing, and swimming, and whatever-elsing – I just don’t seem to find much time for it.

Oops my nan and sister have just rang me on Skype…


Doing this teaching job thing I’ve realised, that I am the most scatty person I know. Not only am I quite messy generally…I mean I honestly prefer things to be nice and tidy and clean; when things are a mess, I just imagine how much cosier and lovely things would look tidy. But for me, when I have lots to do e.g. PLANNING, maybe tidying does comes last…as in, late at night… or the next morning…or the next weekend – if it doesn’t bother anyone else that is!

So back to this sentence…: “Not only am I quite messy generally….” BUT I’ve recently come to realise that I actually shamefully lose (but sometimes find) OTHER PEOPLE’S possessions!!!!!!!! For example, a pen. OK, a pen is perhaps not so serious, but still I feel BAD. I tell myself I’m just borrowing the pen, for example, because I know that such and such a person wouldn’t mind me borrowing it anyway, and voila, at the end of my morning at work, I think, Where did I put so-and-so’s pen???

Also, a recent trip to Le Feu prompted me to question myself: just how honest am I? If I say I’ll pray for somebody, do I actually do it, I mean, always? Or do I say all convincing, I’ll pray for you!!! But then get wrapped up in me-me-me, and shamefully forget or forget until ages after…

Work has been getting to me a little. Teaching, meh. I think I’ve figured out what I’ve always actually felt – teaching isn’t for me. I like children, I really do. (When there’s just one or two of them preferably, heh). And what does it say in the Bible…that we must be like little children? I need to brush up on my knowledge! Talking of that, I’ve started a read-the-Bible-in-one-year challenge (with 2 passages to read a day), which is going, er, okay so far…

But really, life isn’t SO bad. Although I may exaggerate at times and talk about black clouds following me around. I’m grateful for the food on my table, the roof over my head, and the money in my pocket. THAT REMINDS ME have I even paid my rent for last month?! Honestly you see, I can’t be left alone, can’t be trusted with anything!! Anyway continuing my list of what I’m thankful fors… I am so thankful for friends and family, plus friendly and supportive colleagues (never mind the disorganisation at work sometimes…they are a very supportive bunch!)

Now, it’s time to ask myself: What will I do next year?!!! This year is gaining me work experience, and new friends and challenges, (and a little French speaking practise on the side!!), but otherwise, I don’t feel like my time here in Lille is something I want for the long haul. The thing is though, I don’t know where I see myself next. I’ve been thinking of the somewhat exotic land of…Eng! England. You know, where they speak English. Near Wales. Scotland. Etc. Ha. But really, I have no idea where…Cambridge is pretty nice! But really, I’m asking myself too, what about being closer to the family…so anyway. Things are a little up in the air at the moment. Only thing I know is, I want to try something other than teaching!

Think that’ll be this post done. Thanks for reading if you’ve taken the time to read.



On The Other Side

On the megabus travelling from Cardiff to London today, I had time to write a few words of reflection. Here they are.

The weather is a little horrific. Grey skies. Raindrops running down the glass windows of this megabus coach. Rain. Wind. Wet roads. Big puddles. Welcome to the UK. In November. Or rather, in my case, it’s see ya later alligator. I’ll be back in just under 2 months.

I’ve had a really lovely 10 days away from Franceland. One hard thing was not seeing everyone who is so special to me. But in Cardiff especially, there are many who are so special to me, and in just a few days I didn’t have time to see all of those whom I store loyally in my heart.

In any case, I spent a few lovely days with my dad, little brother and sister, as well as a night with my nan where I caught up with 2 sets of aunties and uncles too. Not forgetting my 5 days spent in Beds with my mum and sister, including a pleasant girly weekend with an aunty from North Wales.

Going back to France now, I don’t really know how to feel.

Firstly I hope I catch my eurostar in time. Still on my way to Llundain and it’s past 10am. My eurostar leaves at 12:58…it’s OK, we’re due into Victoria Coach Station for 10:30am. Praying!

So as I was saying, not really sure how to feel re.commencing Chapter 2 of my Lille life. Like a kid, I look forward to travelling on the eurostar again and get excited when I hear people chatting away in French.

Re.work though, I’m feeling a little more anxious about the whole thing. I’ve even had a nosy on job sites to see a bit what’s out there – if I don’t survive past January.

I would love to stay in Lille for the whole year as planned. I’m just not sure I can hack teaching for the whole time. Perhaps throwing myself in the deep end wasn’t such a good idea.

Anyway; amidst my many blessings I am in a certain way unafraid. I have many security blankets – them being my friends, family, in Wales, UK and even in France.

One little nugget of information for you: over my time away, I met a Christian. Apparently only a Christian for the past 2/3 years, he admitted to me something about God –  ‘I live because of Him, and I live for Him’. He said this to me, unafraid and self-assured. It was touching!

Challenges will arise in this life, wherever I am, wherever we are.  And God is there in every one. He knows about every one. It’s our attitude which we must adapt.

Although things may be grey. Rainy. Albeit, horrific. God sees the bigger picture. We will have trials on this earth – but remember- this earth isn’t our home! Our eternal home and treasures are with God in Heaven – there is another side.

She is fierce

Dancing in Stink

So let me just explain – I like Lille, I don’t think it’s an un-pretty place. It has character. But sometimes, it just smells. You know, some places just have a bad odour. And in Lille, sometimes you get a waft of a something or other… In Venice it kinda stinks too. And no, it’s not just me who says that Lille smells – a German friend I met today, she agrees, alright mate!

Anyway, just wanted to drop in and share this little something with you; something I read today which I came across in a Dance magazine, Danse. I know, I should not be spending money on such things! First time I assure you, and the last… However, I did buy it, and I read this rather lovely description of one’s relationship with dance:

Dancing for me is the harmonious conversation between body and soul. Flying transported by the wings of music, freed of the constraints of time and space.

Dancing is being able to connect to a source that is the alpha and omega of any movement.

Is being submerged in a river of emotions ever changing, joy, sadness, all part of a bigger Whole Present to the fluidity of the moment, is the joy of being alive and here, and at the same time, nowhere.

Xiomara Reyes

In fact, I might go to a dance class tomorrow, or I never will. So I’ll soon see whether I’ll be dancing in stink, or in sync…

La déclaration d’amour

As I take the metro so often to travel to and from work and the like, I picked up one of those handy free metro newspapers. Inside, I read about a guy who made a video about his love for Lille, his homeplace; the video is about his having left Lille, but taking with him all those special memories, places and people.

Read the article here (in French): http://www.lavoixdunord.fr/region/a-lille-plus-de-32000-internautes-ont-deja-succombe-a-ia19b0n2401414

And here’s a link to the video on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOm0Ps2Ydcc

If you understand/are learning French, I recommend a watch! 🙂

 “Il n’en revient pas lui-même. De retour dans sa Lille natale après avoir passé dix années à Paris, Alexandre Contart, 36 ans, a mis en ligne, le 18 septembre, un court-métrage de cinq minutes, dans lequel il déclare son amour pour la capitale des Flandres. Une semaine après, la vidéo a déjà été vue par plus de 32 000 internautes. Le début d’une jolie romance”