So…it’s been a while. Longer than I’ve wanted. I’ve had so many moments where I’ve longed to just forget everything I have on my mind and to just write. It’s kinda like escapism. But it’s like dancing, and swimming, and whatever-elsing – I just don’t seem to find much time for it.
Oops my nan and sister have just rang me on Skype…
Doing this teaching job thing I’ve realised, that I am the most scatty person I know. Not only am I quite messy generally…I mean I honestly prefer things to be nice and tidy and clean; when things are a mess, I just imagine how much cosier and lovely things would look tidy. But for me, when I have lots to do e.g. PLANNING, maybe tidying does comes last…as in, late at night… or the next morning…or the next weekend – if it doesn’t bother anyone else that is!
So back to this sentence…: “Not only am I quite messy generally….” BUT I’ve recently come to realise that I actually shamefully lose (but sometimes find) OTHER PEOPLE’S possessions!!!!!!!! For example, a pen. OK, a pen is perhaps not so serious, but still I feel BAD. I tell myself I’m just borrowing the pen, for example, because I know that such and such a person wouldn’t mind me borrowing it anyway, and voila, at the end of my morning at work, I think, Where did I put so-and-so’s pen???
Also, a recent trip to Le Feu prompted me to question myself: just how honest am I? If I say I’ll pray for somebody, do I actually do it, I mean, always? Or do I say all convincing, I’ll pray for you!!! But then get wrapped up in me-me-me, and shamefully forget or forget until ages after…
Work has been getting to me a little. Teaching, meh. I think I’ve figured out what I’ve always actually felt – teaching isn’t for me. I like children, I really do. (When there’s just one or two of them preferably, heh). And what does it say in the Bible…that we must be like little children? I need to brush up on my knowledge! Talking of that, I’ve started a read-the-Bible-in-one-year challenge (with 2 passages to read a day), which is going, er, okay so far…
But really, life isn’t SO bad. Although I may exaggerate at times and talk about black clouds following me around. I’m grateful for the food on my table, the roof over my head, and the money in my pocket. THAT REMINDS ME have I even paid my rent for last month?! Honestly you see, I can’t be left alone, can’t be trusted with anything!! Anyway continuing my list of what I’m thankful fors… I am so thankful for friends and family, plus friendly and supportive colleagues (never mind the disorganisation at work sometimes…they are a very supportive bunch!)
Now, it’s time to ask myself: What will I do next year?!!! This year is gaining me work experience, and new friends and challenges, (and a little French speaking practise on the side!!), but otherwise, I don’t feel like my time here in Lille is something I want for the long haul. The thing is though, I don’t know where I see myself next. I’ve been thinking of the somewhat exotic land of…Eng! England. You know, where they speak English. Near Wales. Scotland. Etc. Ha. But really, I have no idea where…Cambridge is pretty nice! But really, I’m asking myself too, what about being closer to the family…so anyway. Things are a little up in the air at the moment. Only thing I know is, I want to try something other than teaching!
Think that’ll be this post done. Thanks for reading if you’ve taken the time to read.